Advice I Wish I’d Been Given Before Becoming a Mom
Mar 30, 2023
There are so many things I wish I’d known before becoming a mom. Not just about parenting—but about myself, about how motherhood would change me, and about how deeply it would impact my business, my health, and my identity.
This isn’t a “5-step guide” kind of post. It’s more like a heart-to-heart. These are the lessons I’ve learned the hard way. The things I wish someone had whispered in my ear before I became a mother and an entrepreneur at the same time.
So, here’s what I would go back and tell that earlier version of me—and maybe, it’s what you need to hear too.
1. Your triggers will become your teachers.
Before becoming a mom, no one told me how motherhood would force me to face the parts of myself I thought I’d buried.
My daughter is bold, loud, confident. She takes up space in a way that lights me up—and, if I’m being honest, sometimes it triggers the parts of me that were told to “be less” as a child.
I never wanted to dim her light. But inside, I had to face this resistance. That feeling of “why wasn’t it safe for me to be like that?”
Advice I wish I’d been given:
Your kids will mirror back the parts of yourself you’ve left unhealed. Let that be an invitation, not a burden.
2. It’s okay to take up space.
As I build my personal brand, I still have moments of “Who am I to talk about this?”
But I’m learning—especially because I want my daughter to see it—that taking up space is not selfish. It’s leadership.
Motherhood gave me the courage to show up more fully in my business. But it also pushed me to finally undo the belief that being visible meant being too much.
Advice I wish I’d been given:
Don’t wait until you feel “ready” to take up space. Do it scared. That’s how you rewrite the story.
3. Let people help. Seriously.
Growing a team in my social media agency reminded me just how tightly I’d been holding everything together.
Not because I didn’t trust others—but because I didn’t know how to stop being the one who saves the day.
It was only when I stepped back and told my team, “Drive the bus,” that everything shifted. They rose. The business grew. I could breathe again.
Advice I wish I’d been given:
You don’t need to be needed all the time. Let go. Trust people to show up—and watch what happens.
4. Put yourself first (yes, before the kids).
I used to put myself at the bottom of the list—after my clients, my business, my partner, and definitely after my kids. But when my health declined post-baby, I was forced to re-evaluate everything.
After being diagnosed with hypothyroidism and facing autoimmune issues, I had to accept that if I don’t take care of me, nothing else works.
Advice I wish I’d been given:
Self-care isn’t a luxury—it’s survival. Your body is the only one you’ve got. Treat it like the foundation of everything else.
5. Your body might change—and that’s not failure.
I used to be an athlete, a gym owner, a personal trainer. After my second baby, my body stopped feeling like my own. I exercised, I ate well, I knew what to do—but I still didn’t feel good.
And the hardest part? Not recognizing myself in the mirror. Not fitting into the clothes I loved. Feeling like my identity had slipped away with my pre-baby jeans.
Advice I wish I’d been given:
Your body may change—and it doesn’t mean you’re broken. Dress the body you’re in. Love the version of you who’s doing her best. Healing takes time.
6. Your business is not your baby.
I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: Your business is not your baby.
You can love your work. You can pour into your clients. But your business can’t need you the way your actual children do—and you can’t need it to validate you.
The more I’ve learned to trust my team, simplify my offers, and protect my energy, the more successful my business has become.
Advice I wish I’d been given:
Don’t cling to your business for worthiness. Build it to support your life—not consume it.
7. Everything is figure-outable. Even this season.
Right now, for the first time in my eight years of entrepreneurship, I feel calm. Not because everything’s perfect—but because I finally trust it’s all going to work out.
Even when it feels like nothing’s going to plan—even when your energy is low, the laundry’s high, the sales feel slow—this isn’t failure. It’s feedback. It’s redirection.
Advice I wish I’d been given:
You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re just building something real—and that takes time.
8. You’re allowed to change.
Before motherhood, I thought I had to pick one version of myself and stick with it forever. But now? I see that each season demands a different version of me—and that’s okay.
Who I was before kids is different from who I am now. And who I’m becoming next will be different again.
And I’ve finally made peace with that.
Advice I wish I’d been given:
You’re allowed to evolve. In fact, you’re supposed to.
So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, behind, triggered, exhausted—or just stretched in every direction—please know this: you’re not doing it wrong. You’re just living a life that’s big and full and honest.
And I hope these words feel like a permission slip. To let go. To take care of yourself. To trust the process. And to be proud of who you’re becoming—even if you’re still figuring it out.
